Finding Joy In My Journey

Finding Joy In My Journey

I have been here at Huntsman Cancer Hospital for 19 days. What an adjustment it has been to go from thinking you are fine to landing here at Huntsman and told within hours you have leukemia and will be staying for a period of time. Wow! July is one of my favorite months by far. I love fireworks, and parades, and all the fun time spent with family. All that has been replaced with heart monitors, medications, sleepless nights, anxiety, fatigue, and mouth sores. Most of all I miss not seeing my kids and husband every day and just being a mom and all that comes with it. I even miss changing my little guy's diapers.

Some how this experience has not kept me from putting a smile on my face and laughing. This is my journey and I don't have to look far to find joy in it. My favorite thing is knowing that my 2 year old lights up when the phone rings and he wants to talk to mom. The only words he says are hi and yes but they are the sweetest hi and yes I have ever heard. Then my six year old daughter loves to ask me about my day and what I am doing. She always gives me updates on how dad is doing and what his mood is. She just tells it like it is. My sweet seven year old daughter just misses her mom and wants to know when she will be home. My kids bring me joy! I look forward to their visits and giving them hugs and kisses.

So many family members, friends, past co-workers, neighbors, ward members have visited, called, or emailed and that has brought me so much joy. Many days my cup is filled by those who come to visit and it keeps me going.

The doctors, nurses, aids, and staff here at Huntsman are amazing. The nurses cry with me, laugh with me, and encourage me. They are my cheerleaders.

I have made friends with other patients and what a blessing they have been to me. I have met a woman who was diagnosed one year ago with my same cancer and we were able to share our experiences with each other. I have also met many others who are strengthening me with their courage.

I find so much strength in knowing that this experience is part of my journey. All things happen for a reason and many lessons can be learned. My faith brings me joy!

Round one of chemo is complete and I am on day 17 of treatments. The chemo is doing its job and basically cleaning out my bone marrow. My blood levels are low which means a very high chance of illness so transfusions are given when necessary. That is the reason for the long hospital stay after the chemo because the high risk of getting an infection. My body should start recovering and building new blood cells in the next week. The doctors tell me I am doing well and everything I am experiencing is to be expected. This is definitely not easy. It starts to take a toll on you mentally, emotionally, and physically.

When it gets hard I just remember all the things that bring me joy :)