A New Chapter

Its real. She's home!  Shantel does not have to stay as a patient at the hospital again (unless she gets sick)!  The rest of her chemo treatments will be outpatient.  She will be done in roughly six months. 

This past month has been the hardest of the hard.  The hardest it will get for her.  She witnessed death (of other patients), she battled with the "why" of it all, and the demons. She lost her hair. She didnt sleep much on a bed that was "alive." She missed home.  She sold a home and said goodbye to a ward family, all without being there in person. Her kids grew. She fought those broken cells.  And she made it home for a most important 6th birthday.  She wins.

There will be an adjustment period. The kids have to get used to having mom around again to crack the whip. Mom has to get used to being mom again and all the exhaustion that comes with that. Naps are essential.

Trevan runs up to her and laughs.  Each time he sees her, he laughs.  He got up this morning and ran into her room, and laughed.  He got her coping skills. It's like he can't believe she is still there.  But he is thrilled that she is.

And, so are we!

Here's to a new home, a new life. But, a life. A new chapter in mortality.

Visiting:

(Shan needs to be very cautious of germs.  But she still has no immune system, so that makes sense.  The visiting hours are no longer restricted by hospital rules.  Calling in advance is appreciated. ;-). Just make sure you are healthy! Wash or hand sani your hands upon arrival. And if at some point you are asked to wear a mask -- her house, her rules-- don't take offense.  Grab that sucker, slap it on and be grateful she is here to ask it.)

SHE'S GOING HOME!!!!!!

More detail to come, but Shantel is going home TODAY!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for the prayers.

Two Items

I wanted to put a quick blurb out there for two things.

1- Shantel is in the midst of a waiting game.  Waiting for certain of her blood counts to reach 500.  Right now they are at 0...and she can't come home until she gets to 500.  So please pray/meditate/telepathic communication on her behalf for those numbers to go up.  She wants to be home by the 28th for a certain little girl's birthday.

2- Hospital bills rack up.  In an effort to assist with any portion of that Shantel's brother put together an awesome fundraiser, that has to do with the Pizza Pie Cafe in Bountiful and in Provo. (You will need to eat there!)  This will take place mid August.  I will post details here. So look for that. In the meantime I will be passing flyers for the event the first week of August. If anyone here local wants to help get them out, let me know.

July 20, 2013

It was time.  

The mother and the daughter.  A moment of tenderness and release from all tethers.

The million-mile smile.  The hero presses on. 

(*Note: it must be said, that this woman has the most PERFECTLY formed head ever seen.)

As of Today

Shantel has continued her imperturbably positive attitude. The Wesche's closed on their home, in the lobby of the hospital!  (Talk about curbside service!). I think for the women, that can be emotional...and it was a bit.  But so happy it's done.

Health-wise this week saw some bumps. Her PIC line got infected and had to be removed.  After 24 hours they were able to place another line in her other arm!  Yay!

The combination of chemo, and all the long list of medications she is taking makes it difficult to discover what ailments, like the infected line, or oddly occurring rashes are caused by.  Then there are the side effects like uber x 100 dry skin, and thinning hair.

But, sure as anything, she always says "tomorrow will be better :)"

It's true I think.  Tomorrow is always a new day, a fresh start, and a chance to do and be better.

Shan was able to connect with a patient who has her same diagnosis. During a conversation, that patient, who is a year into treatment, said "this is the hardest it's going to get."  I think about that a lot because for Shantel, the hardest part is being away from her family, and not at home.  Even the bumps that others would be depressed over, she just laughs off.  There is no doubt in her mind  that she will kick this illness!  

Hair Today, Gone (Purple) Tomorrow

Chemo can affect people differently.  Most loose their hair.  Some loose it all, others only in places.

I am sure you have all heard of or talked to someone who, in support, of a cancer riddled loved one has shaved off their own hair. (Think Kelly Pickler)

Well, the hair will come out at some point.  It has already started to a strand or few at a time.  And it remains to be seen by our Rockstar how she will handle it when it needs handling. She is so wise.

In the meantime, I thought it would be fun to do something fun.  And one day during a dressing change, I suggested I would dye my hair whatever color she wanted. (It was a good distraction from discomfort at the time) But I also really liked the idea.  So I asked what color? Yellow was discussed, but purple being the favorite (2nd favorite?) color was selected.

It is a symbol of support for Shantel.

Breast cancer has pink ribbons on its behalf right? So now Shantel has purple hair streaks on her behalf!

Streak it up people! But use purple! Then, if you do walk the wild side...comment here and let her know!

Finding Joy In My Journey

Finding Joy In My Journey

I have been here at Huntsman Cancer Hospital for 19 days. What an adjustment it has been to go from thinking you are fine to landing here at Huntsman and told within hours you have leukemia and will be staying for a period of time. Wow! July is one of my favorite months by far. I love fireworks, and parades, and all the fun time spent with family. All that has been replaced with heart monitors, medications, sleepless nights, anxiety, fatigue, and mouth sores. Most of all I miss not seeing my kids and husband every day and just being a mom and all that comes with it. I even miss changing my little guy's diapers.

Some how this experience has not kept me from putting a smile on my face and laughing. This is my journey and I don't have to look far to find joy in it. My favorite thing is knowing that my 2 year old lights up when the phone rings and he wants to talk to mom. The only words he says are hi and yes but they are the sweetest hi and yes I have ever heard. Then my six year old daughter loves to ask me about my day and what I am doing. She always gives me updates on how dad is doing and what his mood is. She just tells it like it is. My sweet seven year old daughter just misses her mom and wants to know when she will be home. My kids bring me joy! I look forward to their visits and giving them hugs and kisses.

So many family members, friends, past co-workers, neighbors, ward members have visited, called, or emailed and that has brought me so much joy. Many days my cup is filled by those who come to visit and it keeps me going.

The doctors, nurses, aids, and staff here at Huntsman are amazing. The nurses cry with me, laugh with me, and encourage me. They are my cheerleaders.

I have made friends with other patients and what a blessing they have been to me. I have met a woman who was diagnosed one year ago with my same cancer and we were able to share our experiences with each other. I have also met many others who are strengthening me with their courage.

I find so much strength in knowing that this experience is part of my journey. All things happen for a reason and many lessons can be learned. My faith brings me joy!

Round one of chemo is complete and I am on day 17 of treatments. The chemo is doing its job and basically cleaning out my bone marrow. My blood levels are low which means a very high chance of illness so transfusions are given when necessary. That is the reason for the long hospital stay after the chemo because the high risk of getting an infection. My body should start recovering and building new blood cells in the next week. The doctors tell me I am doing well and everything I am experiencing is to be expected. This is definitely not easy. It starts to take a toll on you mentally, emotionally, and physically.

When it gets hard I just remember all the things that bring me joy :)

Hey There Chicken Noodle

As I sit and think about what everyone wants to know, I imagine that more than anything, people want to see Shantel.  For most of us that isn't possible (due to a myriad of reasons)...so I'm bringing Shantel to you!

Doesn't she look GREAT?!  (Ps if that isn't an Emma face, I don't know what is!). Notice there is NO I.V. hooked up to her. And this is after completing her first round of chemo!  Amazing people, just amazing.

Turns out that a side effect of chemo for a majority of patients is mouth sores.  Sort of like canker sores, (but a lot of them,) and they can even fire up in patient throats.  Isn't cancer fascinating? Shantel has started to get sores. Not fun, but that is why the hospital provides yummy smooth food like room temperature water and Chicken Noodle soup, which this cute patient of ours seems to handle pretty well.  

So, HELLO, Chicken Noodle!  Thanks for being "born."  We appreciate ya!

Friday July 12, Visiting Update

Please do not visit the hospital Friday July 12, 2013 after noon-ish.  Thanks!

Also visitors must be over the age of 14.

Sometimes it's yucky

I want to keep it real here -- along with my silliness, because both are just who I am.

It turns out that chemo is a persnickety little beastie and sometimes it's just yucky.  Shantel is doing so so good that its CRAZY-town, but even she has bad days.  Yesterday, she said "it's just caught up to me" and she felt yucky. But seriously can you imagine being poisoned?!  Eww. That would make any person feel gross.

However, the fighter keeps her fists up!

And today?  Of course she is back to being her awesome self.

VISITING UPDATE: The hours are the same, but as she feels sicker, please be mindful of her needs including nutrition.  If you are visiting around meal time, keep that in mind so she can be sure to get her three squares in, as that helps her fight. And if the bouncers (aka nurses) kick you out, which they are stepping up their game on, please DON'T be offended!  They are helping Shantel!  

Have Faith Not Fear

I first want to express my deepest love and thanks to my dear husband who has picked up all the pieces at home and with our children. He is truly my Rockstar!

This past week has been a whirlwind. Grasping the fact that I have cancer and wrapping my head around all this has been very faith building. I am so grateful and feel blessed beyond words for this refining experience. It has taught me that when we exercise faith in the atonement, our Savior, and the will of our Heavenly Father, we are truly blessed.

I want to thank my dear parents, my brothers and their dear wives, Lance's family, aunts, uncles, cousins, dear friends, and ward members for your love, support, fasting, and many prayers. It is amazing the power that comes when so many people exercise faith in behalf of someone they love and care about.

I feel so good I almost feel guilty! I complete this first round of chemo treatments tomorrow then wait as my body rebuilds and my blood levels rise to a point that is safe for me to go home. This is just the beginning of a long road and I know there will be hard days ahead when I will have to dig deep and keep fighting. I am a fighter!

Another Round Bites The Dust

Do do do, another one bites the dust...do do do, another one bites the dust!

Two rounds of Chemo down, and she hasn't slowed a bit!

She got a pile of blood Sunday to boost her up and is as glowing as ever! (Almost like pregnancy!). And she has a good appetite which means no nausea yet.  Can anyone say blessings! I'm in awe.

Visiting time: the totally cool nurses are on a mission to help her sleep. They posted notice to please keep visits under 15min.  Linger-ers will get bounced if it gets to be overwhelming!

Time is still 10-12 and 2-4.

And now because it's fun...pictures of no people!

This last one is particularly awesome.  Someone broke the pull on the black out shade!

Konnie